Friday 15 January 2016

Rumination's

Hey.

Sorry it's been so long since I posted anything. The silly season was upon us and all attention had to be put towards helping idiots of many creeds not kill themselves.

Been a bit of a let down really. If I'm honest. Had the 'normal' fun and games but with bery few in number. A mini new year and Yule if you will. At the height of new years night there was but 40 folks in my place. 40. This is in marked contrast to years hence where it wasn't unusual to have over 3000 go through the door (most vertical, a few horizontal). It's led me to have quite a lot of thinking time. Thoughts as ever drift to the ever decreasing standards of both our society and the industry which I frequent. 

Are people becoming more stupid? Is the IQ of the nation in freefall? I see all manner of idiot things on a normal night, but is it really normal? Do I have a biased  view of the world due to alcohol? I don't go out much in the day you see. Sure I venture out and am forced to interact but not on a regular basis. 

In short, am I selling the human race for a lower amount than it's due? Is the weight found wanting? Am I just a grumpy old git. 

On new years night I saw a man (we shall use this word for lack of a better description, casting my own views on what makes a 'man' aside). He seemed to have had a good night but it had taken a turn for the worse. He was brought to my attention buy the loud cry of (I LOVE this, each and every time it's screamed) of "I'll fucking knock him out", I looked up and he was being pulled away from the door next to mine by what I presume was his partner/girlfriend/shag for the night. He was raging at the doorlads for what ever reason, maybe he had been blocked, thrown out or just insulted. Either wayhe was admiment that justice would only be served if violence were to happen.

Admist the shouting, screaming and general threats he was a whirlwind of arms and legs, each time he span round to 'storm' back to the door and lay waste to all his partner was there to get in his way, being of the belief that he wouldnt't stand a chance against five large bouncers. Try as he mite she was there to defy his wish for the old ultra violence. This wasn't the normal 'hold me back! Hold me back!' dance that's played out but an actual attempt to lamp someone.

 It soon became obvious that she wouldn't let him get smushed by the droogs and we flounced away round the corner to the taxi rank (my door is on a corner so I can see both streets) before starting what can only be described as 'a hum-dinger' of a barny with said maiden whom had help spare his face. As my oppo and myself watched it soon became a possibility that he was going to punch her.

Nope.

Unless you're being attacked there's no excuse. Said this before. There's no such thing as one rule for men and another for women but if there's no threat for either then violence is not an option. Me ladso here didn't agree. Three times he raised his hand. Three times we were on our toes waiting to intercept. And three times he stopped at her flinch.

Not playing this game.

I know the law. The law clearly states that if anything happens that is not life threatening anymore than 10 feet from you're door then it's nothing to do with you. But am I going to stand there and watch some dickhead chin his girlfriend?  

No..

Just to make a point of being passive I walked over slowly. Our friends in the thin blue call it 'proceeding'. Without the silly "ello ello ello, what's all this then" I approached and held both hands up in supplication.

"Allrite folks" if it was alrite I wouldn't fucking be here would I?
"Fuck of dick head" replys Rocky.
"I know you ain't having the best of times but you may want to stop threatening the gi..."
"FUCKOFFORYOU'LLGETSMASHED" 
Who do you think you are you little woman threatening pigeon chested prick?..  
"No need for that mate, just calm down"
See, ain't I nice.
"If you don't fuck off you'll..."
No idea what he would have done. He never finished his sentence. He was lost for words. Cat had his tongue. Mind must have gone blank..
I squeezed a little tighter on his throat, my large hand gripping so his eyes bulged. I didn't shout. Didn't scream. Just calmly spoke.
"Listen to me you fucking scum. If you ever go to hit her again I will put you in the hossy, yeah? You understand? You twat her and I will mash the shit out of you.."

Point made? I like to think so.

I let go. The look on his face was that of a little child whom has been chastised by the 'favourite' parent and doesn't know what to do. For a second I thought maybe he was going to take a swing but no. His eyes welled up and away he went into the crowd. 

I turn to the woman and ask her if she's ok? 
"What you being a prick for?.."
Say what now?
"There was no need for that ya' dick head"
Um.. Say what now??  
"He should have knocked you out!"
Err.. Have I been slipped a mickey? Is this really happening???
And with that she runs into the crowd, screams 'knob head' at me whilst trying to catch up with her knight in pri-marni.

Now is it me or is that not normal? More to the point IS that normal? Is that amount of delusion how most folks roam the world in? With the idea that they are both a one punch maniac and always in the right? 

Or am I just a grumpy old git?

My summery after the silly season is now boiled down to this:

 Snow should be shipped in, folks should wear coats, never agree to work extra hours on another venue for a dubstep after party and fifa is shit.

That is all.

Stay safe. Speak soon.

1 comment:

  1. Good stuff mate!

    I was a bouncer in my late 20's, just got another gig last summer for extra $$. It can be really fun sometimes, and sometimes you just turn and say 'WTF just happened?' hahaha

    Enjoy reading your stuff!

    Paul

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