It's a funny old world, ain't it..

Hi,

 I've been thinking of how to start this for a while now. Many of my friends over the years have encouraged me to write down the strange, wonderful and mostly violent things that happen to me. And, I will be honest, a very violent life it is that I live.

 You see I live in a strange world, a world that many people are scared of, a world that has a very old set of rules. At times the actions I take can seem strange to many, sometimes abhorrent in their reasoning. But these rules have been followed by a certain kind of person since someone stood on the front door of the Trip To Jerusalem and said 'not tonight mate' . 

 

 Every week I'm involved in some kind of fight. There are no rules, no referees, no tapping out and certainly no surrender. To show weakness will get you hurt, possibly even killed. I'm not a soldier, I'm not a body guard, I'm not a cop. No, I'm the hated, loved, despised, cruel, loving, thick, over educated man at the front door.

I'm a bouncer.

My name is Bunny. I work in Manchester city center. I've worked the doors in two of Britain's 'most violent' cities for 8 years now. And have I got a few stories to tell. Before you stop reading and disregard what I have to say because I'm a 'thick violence loving dick head' let me stop you for a moment and let you into a few secrets. I'm writing this, I write as I speak. It's not ghost written and there is no spell checker. I'm educated. I'm well read. I'm polite until its time to be impolite. I have patience that would put a saint to shame and above all I hate violence nearly as much as I hate alcohol (or should I say what alcohol turns people into).

 So, now I've dispelled the suspicion that I'm a knuckle dragging moron with the disposition of a pissed off rhino and the IQ of an albino cave slug, lets begin. 

 I started working the doors because I felt trapped, I worked in a call centre at the time and life was grim. The daily drudge of speaking to people who felt that they had lost control in their lives which subsequently led them to venting their frustrations on any animal, mineral or vegetable that was unlucky enough to get in their way was, in short, soul destroying. Every day I would wake up and literally hate my working life. It was killing me. So when the chance to change who and what I was came up I lept at it.

 I come from a dirty little town in the north of England called Crewe. Crewe is a grimy, unpleasant shit hole. At one point it had a knife crime rate that was only suppased by major cities, so I was no stranger to having a fight. It was part of every day life to be honest. After a while you become numb to it all, you accept what is happening around you and you go with the flow. My thinking was that working the doors would be similar.

 Wrong.

 Nothing could prepare me for the twists, turns, tribulations and thrills that working as a bouncer would bring. At times you may think that I'm making it all up, that I'm talking total bullshit. I swear that everything written here is true, it's happened to me.. Not situations I've heard about, not stuff that happened to a friend of mine (although there will be a few stories in here that are not mine and I will cite them as such), not made up crap but real honest to God's truth that I have seen with my own two eyes.

 Before we get to the blog its self I will apologise for a few things. I swear, a lot. Despite what people think swearing is not the refuge of the uneducated, I have been in the company of judges, lords, surgeons, prince's and millionaires. All of whom swore like sailors having a bad day. It's healthy to have a good swear, yes there are inappropriate times but there are also definitely appropriate times to hence forth your frustration, bile, hatred and malice in the form of vulgarity.

 Secondly, I'm graphic. I don't hold anything back. You wont find any blushing virgins here, as a terrible monster of a man once said "warts and all" is what I write.

 And finally, I'm opinionated. I have spent many hours watching humans ruin themselves and others in the never ending quest to get mashed out of their minds (for reasons good or bad) and as a result of being this fascinated spectator I've come to some conclusions that most will find either bleak or down right offensive. To continue reading is your own choice my friend and believe me, it's all about choice. 

On that sinister note, hope you have enjoyed the blurb if you will and that my rantings, scribbles and musing give you at least a small incite into my world. Speak soon, stay safe